Thoughts of Fifty Shades
by ShadesOfAGirl
Summary: OS / Christians POV - different parts from any of the three books written in Christians POV. / 1. Christian bringing Ana to his Hotel after she gets drunk - fifty shades darker / other parts will come soon / All rights belong to E.L.James - author of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. no own charakters. / i would love to read some reviews.
1. Drunk Angel : Fifty Shades of Grey

You can put a suggestion of which scene i should write from Christians POV in a review and will try to write that. Would be much help anyways to get some ideas.

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I carry her into the bathroom and put her on the chair in front of the mirror while her head sinks to her chest. I fill water into my cupped hands and wash her face gently. I touch the edges of her small face with my index fingers. Oh how beautiful she is. She looks like a little angel. A pretty**, **drunk angel. I smile involuntarily. I grab her and carry her into the bedroom and lay her down on the bed. Then I undress her. First I undo the buttons of her blouse and then I take it off. For a moment, I stare at her breasts. Her beautiful and well formed breasts. Oh how I would love to undress her in my Play-room and when she's not comatose of course. I sigh. Oh this woman.

I undo the first button of her jeans and then the fly and gently take her jeans off. I look at her gorgeous body lying there only in underwear. Oh this woman needs better underwear, sexier underwear. Victoria's Secret – style. I cover her body with a blanket and put her head on the pillow. She looks so innocent. I wonder how much of experience she has with sex or maybe even with the sort of sex I like.

I lay down on the other side of the bed beside her. Oh Anastasia Steele. What do you do to me?! I stroke a strand of hair off her face. A strand of her wonderful**, **long**, **smooth**,** brown hair. I would love to put her hair in a braid and then again my thoughts are in the playroom with her. Oh how much I would have loved to spank the living shit out of her this evening. How could she be so stupid and get so drunk?! And this little fucker, who claims to be her friend. I should have taught him not to touch women who do not want to be touched. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't arrived by the right time.

I look at her beautiful**,** sleeping face again. Oh Anastasia why are you looking like the crack-whore?! Oh how I would love to see you whimper under my touch. What I could do to you. My thoughts drift away to the Playroom again. Oh shit. This must stop. She won't agree on my contract anyways. _So calm the fuck down Christian Grey and stop having these fantasies._ – I say to myself. Maybe I should talk to John about this. I never wanted any of my Subs that much. Actually I never made such an effort to get any of my Subs to sign the contract. I remember how she felt in my office and just wanted to finish that interview as quickly as possible, but with every passing minute of that interview I got more and more interested in that little**,** clumsy girl.

I should probably get some sleep anyways, so I roll myself on the other side, so I don't have to deal with the constant urge to look at her all the time**. **I prepare myself for my usual nightmare as I close my eyes and then fall asleep. But I don't have any nightmares. No mummy lying on the floor. No hunger. No darkness. No burning cigarettes on my skin. Only her. _Anastasia._


	2. Hospitalthougts : Fifty Shades Freed

Reviews would be super-important and put in the reviews which scene you would like to read next from Christians POV.

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I look at her face. At her beautiful face. Even though she is lying in the hospital for nearly three days now, she looks beautiful. Her big blue eyes are closed as she sleeps and her long brown hair is lying spread across the pillow. I want to touch the pale skin on her face so bad, but i can't. She looks so weak. I'm afraid to hurt her. Oh my little Ana. My stupid little Ana.

I've been sitting here since Thursday since that little fucker Jack … I try not to think of him, because if I do, I might go find him in this goddamn hospital and rip his fucking head off. I try to calm, i look at Anas face and suddenly i feel like all my anger is gone and it's all replaced with love for that unique and wonderful woman.

Oh how much I love her. I think back at our phonecall, when she was in the bank. When she told me that she was about to leave, it was like I had lost my purpose of living. Like someone had taken the light from me and I was shrouded in complete darkness, like I was alone and all by myself again. I shudder. I don't want to remember that feeling and I never want to feel like that again.

I look at her belly. Her beautiful belly, in which, now, our little baby is growing. I was so mad at her when she told me she was pregnant and I said all those awful things, which I actually didn't mean that way. I was so shocked and simply not ready to become a father, but then that moment when i thought I lost her. It changed everything. I realized that whatever she will do, i will always forgive her because I love her. So desperately.

I will have to apologize to her. For my words and, which is much worse, for seeing Elena. How painful it must have been for Ana to see that message on my blackberry, while I was asleep completely drunk. What she must have thought…I shake my head. No. I would never do this again. I belong to her. Completely. I'm all Ana's. I must tell her what happend that evening with Elena. She has to know everything. She deserves to. I sigh.

I wish she'd finally wake up, that I could speak to her, that I could finally again tell her that I love her. I touch her hand gently. Stroking my thumb over her knuckles. „Ana, baby, I love you", i murmur and look at her. She looks so thin. Way too thin. She has to eat when she wakes up. I can't handle watching her that thin.

Suddenly her eyes flicker and i feel a movement in her fingers. They close around my hand as she opens her eyes slowly and looks at me. Finally. My little, beautiful, brave, but so stupid Ana is awake. I smile.


	3. Unwelcome Guest: Fifty Shades Darker

Thanks to Romancefifty for that idea xx

The conversation-parts are completly taken form the book "Fifty Shades Darker" , so i don't own them.

Reviews would as always be awesome.

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We have danced for two more numbers , when Ana tells me she has to use the restroom and I leave the dancefloor to find John and talk about my next appointment. I find him on the side talking to Dad. I sigh. So now even when I'm an adult, dad still checks on my progress. Well anyways, John knows what he is allowed to tell him and what not. I don't want to interrupt that conversation. I make my way back to the place where Ana left me, so she wouldn't have to search me, when she comes back. Because she's not back after 5 more minutes, I decide to check up on her and go the restrooms.

Half on the way I turn around though, and see Ana staying near our table. And she is not alone. I really thought she wouldn't come. _What the actual fuck is Elena doing there?! What the hell is she telling Ana?!_ I start to get worried. Whatever she says it might make her upset or she overthinks the situation and leaves me again. No she can't. She promised not to. She said she'd never leave me. But Elena might tell her things, that could change her decision. Also, Ana doesn't look quite amused, being uncomfortable with that conversation.

I head to the table and act calmly, like I was just looking for Ana. „There you are", I mutter looking at Ana. Then I look up to Elena and act like I've just noticed her and frown. Suddenly Ana strides past me in silence and for one moment I'm torn between my only friend and my love. My choice is clear, I don't even have to overthink it, so I follow Ana. „Ana", I call and she turns around, looking all upset. What did she tell her?! I finally catch up with her. „What's wrong?" I look into her eyes, trying to read something out of them, but all I see is, that she's upset. That's old news.

„Why don't you ask your Ex?!", she hisses. Oh Ana, that's not the right moment for comments like these. I try to calm because I don't want ro shout at her in public. I look at her with a serious look to give her a message. Now. „I'm asking you", I say and i try to keep my voice soft and quite. And for a moment we glare at each other, but what comes out of her smart mouth then, really amuses me. „She's threatening to come after me if I hurt you again – probably with a whip", she snaps. I try not to laugh. Oh my little Ana. Will she ever stop making these comments on mine and Elena's past?! I try not to look too amused, cause she might get mad. „Surely the irony of that isn't lost on you?!", I say. „This isn't funny, Christian" which was exactly what I expected her to say. I wish you were that predictable all the time, Ana.

„No you're right. I'll talk to her", I try to hide my amusement under a serious face, because I don't want her to get even more mad than she probably already is. However, I should really talk to Elena. Who does she think she is, that she can just appear here and threaten my girlfriend? This is my fucking first real relationship and she should really stay out of this. „You will do no such thing", Ana interrupts my thoughts. What?! What was that about?! I stare at her as she folds her arms. That really suprises me. I just blink at her silently, not knowing what I should say. „Look", she continues, „I know you're tied up to her financially, forgive the pun, but" –_but what Ana?! Should I stop seeing her ?! Stop seeing my only friend?!_ I look at her waiting for what she wants to say, but for some reason she doesn't continue her previous sentence and says „I need to go to the restroom", glaring up at me. Her mouth in a grim line.

She's mad. I can tell that. But what is she mad about?! About me still seeing Elena or that Elena was here?! I hope it's the second. „Please don't be mad", I tell her, „I didn't know she was here. She said she wasn't coming." And I wonder if Elena decided to come last minute or if she was planning this all along. Well that is something I could deal with later. I reach up and run my thumb along her pouting bottom lip. Oh her lip. I would love to bite on that lip later, but that's really for later. Now I just want to enjoy this wonderful evening with my even more wonderful girlfriend. „Don't let Elena ruin our evening, please, Anastasia. She's really old news."


	4. The Playroom : Fifty Shades of Grey

Well here you go: First time in the Playroom. (thanks to jkp77)

Yeah so this one is a little more perverted then the others, but it's the Playroom, so Christian's in his element i let his darker thoughts free. Enjoy anyways!

Next to come: Fifty Shades Freed: Where Ana takes off her bikini on the beach ; Fifty Shades Darker: Christians talk to Leila while he bathe her.

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Finally. Finally I'm with her in my Playroom again and this time she all mine. Willing to do all I want from her. „When you're in here you're completely mine," i tell her, breathing each word slow, „To do with as I see fit. Do you understand?!", I gaze at her. Oh just say yes, so I can undress your gorgeous body, Anastasia. She nods. She looks so nervous and innocent. Oh how much that turns me on. Oh how much she turns me on. I can't wait to see her suffer under my touch. „Take off your shoes", I keep my voice soft, so I don't scare her off. She looks at me and then takes off her shoes and she looks so clumsy doing that, so cute. I pick them up and putt hem besides the door, so they aren't in my way later. I want be distracted by anything playing with her body.

Finally I can undress her. „Good. Don't hesitate when i ask you to do something. Now I'm going to peel you out of this dress. Something I wanted to do for a few days, if I recall.", I look at her. She always looks so ashamed when she's naked and I really don't get what for. For that perfect formed boobs, for hat wonderful ass ?! „I want you to be comfortable with your body, Anastasia. You have a wonderful body, and I like to look at it," I like it a lot in fact. „It is a joy to behold. In fact, I could gaze at you all day, and I want you unembarrassed of your nakedness. Do you understand?" I look at her waiting fort he right answer. „Yes", oh Ana yes is not the right answer. „Yes what?!" „Yes Sir", she sounds so forced. She has to want that or I can't enjoy it. „Do you mean that?!", I snap. „Yes Sir". Good Girl. „Good lift your arms up over your head". She does as I tell her. Oh now I can finally undress her. I pull the dress slowly up over her tighs and free her sexy long legs completely, then I pull it over her hips, her belly, her awesome tits, her shoulders and then finally undress her by pulling it over her shoulders. I take a step back to check out her nearly naked body. A wonderful view. I place the dress on the chest beside the door and then stand close to her again. Oh she is biting her lip. And I feel my cock responding to her biting her lip. „You're biting your lip", I slow down my breathing. „You know what that does to me", Oh Ana I want you completely naked. Now. „Turn around", I order. I unclasp her Bra fast and then slowly pull both straps down her arms, brushing her skin with my fingers. I stand right behind her, but I hardly touch her.

I pull her hair, so it's all hanging down her back. Her beautiful long browns hair. The same hair as the crack whore. I grasps a handfull of it at her nape and angle her to one side. Oh her hair feels smooth, exactly like _her _hair felt, when she had let me play with it. I run my nose down her exposed neck and inhale her smell. Her wonderful specific smell. „You smell divine as ever, Anastasia",I whisper in her ear and plant a soft kiss behind it. She moans. Oh already?! Oh Ana a single kiss can do that to you?! I'm looking forward to what the little game i planed for you can do to you. „Quite," I say slowly, „Don't make a sound". No it's time to put your hair in a braid. With a braid you will look even more like the crack whore. I start braiding her hair and suddenly a flashback of me braiding mommys hair in the dark, small room appears, but I try to shake it off. It's not right. Especially not right now. I give it a quick tug, so she's forced to lean her head back. Yes that will work. „ I like your hair braided in here", so I can have more control over you and I have even more joy see you suffering.

Then I release her hair. „Turn around" , I want to see you. I look at her eyes. She is afraid, but there is something else. Longing? I look at her body. That's how I like her. Only in her panties. Delicious view. „When I tell you to come in here, this is how you will dress. Just in your panties. Do you understand?"

„Yes" Oh Ana will you never learn?! „Yes what?!" „Yes, Sir" Better. I smile quick. „Good Girl" So now I finally introduce her to the position she has to take. My favorite position. That's how I like my little brown-haired girls. I look into her eyes. „When I tell you to come in here, I expect you to kneel over there", I point with my finger at the point besides the door and she follows my finger with her eyes. „Do it now" She hesitates and for a moment I think she's going to stop that and just leave. Well she's always free to. She hasn't signed anything yet. Another first I notice. But I don't want her to leave. Not Ana. But then she does as told and I feel relieved. She kneels kind of clumsy as always. Oh that's what I like so much about her. Her clumsiness.

„You can sit back on your heels", I tell her and she does as told. „Place your hands and forearms flat on your tighs. Good. Now part your knees. Wider. Wider. Perfect. Look down at the floor" Good Girl. She does everything as told and look at her. Finally after weeks I have her in that position. I walk over to her and grab her braid and pull it back, so she has to look at me. „Will you remember that position?!" I don't wanna have to tell you what you have to do each time we're her and that'll be often. „Yes, Sir" „Good. Stay here, don't move" and I leave her kneeling there, while I go back to my bedroom and quickly change into my old used ripped jeans, which I always wear in the playroom and take my shirt off. Oh the next hour will be mind-blowing. She will like what I planed for her. I'm sure she will. At least I hope so. Well I will find out soon anyways. I grin and enter back into the playroom.

She's still kneeling there. Good girl. Finally she does what she's told. Maybe she's not as bad as Sub as she thought. „Good Girl, Anastasia. You look lovely like that. Well done. Stand up." She stands up, but still keeps her face down. Oh she even remembered the part, she's only allowed to look at me when she's allowed to. Very good start as Sub. She seems to be talented. I try not to grin and destroy it. „You may look at me" and she looks at me and I look back. So now I have to prepare her for what I'm about to do.

I should start with her hand. „I'm going to chain you now, Anastasia. Give me your right hand" And soon as she does, I turn it palm up and hit the center of it fast with the riding crop. A crop of brown plainted leather, just as she described it. I look at her to see how she feels about that. „How does that feel?", I ask her. She looks confused. Maybe because it went so fast. „Answer me!" is it so hard to tell me how that felt?! „Okay", she frowns. „Don't frown" I look at her still waiting fort the answer. „Did that hurt?", I ask her again and i finally get an answer. „No" What a relieve. Perfect. „This is not going to hurt. Do you understand?", I don't her to be afraid. She should enjoy that. As much as I do. It's for our both pleasure after all. „Yes", she tells me, but she sounds so uncertain. So she is afraid, i might hurt her. „I mean it", how can make clear to her that I don't want to actually hurt her?! I show her the crop and she looks up right into my eyes and I can see the fear in her eyes, but also lust. Yes she wants this. „We aim to please, miss Steele", I murmur.

„Come", I take her elbow and lead her to the grid where I'm going to chain her. I take down some shakles with black cuffs. I should explain her how that works though. „This grid is designed so the shakles move across the grid", I tell her. „ We are going to start her, but I want to fuck you standing up. So we'll end up by the wall over there." And I point at the wooden X at the wall. Oh yes I'm going to fuck her there and it will be awesome. For both of us. „Put your hands above your head" and she obliges. I fasten the cuffs, standing very close to her. So I can feel how heated her body is. I Step back and gaze at her. There she is all cuffed, delivered and all mine. All of this wonderful body is mine right now. My cock is so gratified with this and I can feel that. I slowly walk around her. „You look mighty fine trussed up like this, Miss Steele. And your smart mouth quiet for now. I like that" Well I like it way more, when it's quiet because it's filled with my cock. But that's not for now.

Then I stand in front of her and hook my fingers fast into her panties and peel them down her legs, slowly, so I have to kneel to putt hem completely off. But I don't take my eyes off hers. I scrunch her panties my hand, still kneeling in front of her. I hold them up to my nose and inhale the wonderful and special smell of her sex. The special flavor of wet Anastasia. My favorite. I inhale deeply again and then tuck them into the pocket of my jeans.

I stand up, slowly and point the end of the crop at her navel. I circle it slowly, then I walk around her, trailing the crop around the middle of her body. She should get used to the touch of the leather at her skin. I Stop moving, standing behind her, reach back and then hit her underneath her behind. And I hit as always exactly where I wanted to, at her sex. She cries out. Good Girl. Cry because of what I do to you. Do it. But not now. I want to hear all of your sensation later, when it's untenable. „Quiet", I whisper. I walk around her again, again I trail the crop around her body, this time a bit higher. This is going to be sweet torture, Anastasia. But it's for your pleasure, so you should better enjoy. And again I hit her at the same place. This time she stays quite. Good. That's how I like it. I continue my walk around her and this time I hit the hardened nipple of her right tit and then I hit the left one. Her nipples harden even more and I like that. She moans. Yes. Show me how much you like this Miss Steele.

„Does that feel good?" „Yes" Oh Ana you forgot something. Now I have to punish you. I hit the crop across her buttocks. This time it should sting more. „Yes what?!", I ask. „Yes, Sir", she whimpers. Oh I like you whimpering my sweet little Ana. Well I should continue my little torture. I place little biting licks of the crop down her body. I finally hit her clitoris. „Oh..Please!", she groans. No, not yet Anastasia. „Quiet" and I hit her on her behind again. Then I drag the crop threw her sex, starting at her public hair and then going down to the entrance of her vagina. And the crop gets wet, wet from her. Oh I like this. Anastasia should know how wet and ready she is. I look at her. „See how wet you are fort his, Anastasia. Open your eyes and mouth." You should also taste how wet you are. She opens her mouth and I push the tip of the crop in her mouth. I want her to see how awesome and delicious she tastes. „See how you taste. Suck. Suck hard, baby" And she does as told. Oh my…my cock is responding and I feel my erection growing and growing with every time she sucks harder on the crop. My eyes lock with hers and i see the pleasure in them. Perfect. She likes it.

I take the crop out of her mouth. Now I wanna see if some of the taste is left on her lips or inside her mouth. I kiss her soft lips. Hard. I try to lick of all this delicious taste with my tongue inside her mouth. I wrap my hands around her and pull her against me as her breasts touch my chest and I feel her nipples pressing against me. „Oh Anastasia you taste mighty fine. Shall i make you come", i gaze at her. „Please", she beg. Oh Anastasia. Bad Girl. You forgot it again. I hit her behind with the crop. „Please what?!"

„Please Sir!", she whimpers. Good Girl. I hold up the crop. „With this I ask?" „Yes, Sir." „Are you sure?", I stare into her eyes to see if she means it. „Yes, please Sir." „Close your eyes", I order. And I start the sweet torture again with little biting licks on her belly and i move down again and then I hit her clitoris again, again and again until she comes screaming out. And how she comes. I curl her up into my arms as her head sinks against his chest. This fells good. She feels all of this because of me. She feels all of this pleasure.


	5. The Angry Christian : Fifty Shades Freed

okay short one this time. But it's another shade of Christian: the angry Christian.

Thanks to Alice for the idea xx

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_What the fuck?!_ I couldn't believe she really did that. My wife is lying on a public beach without a fucking bikini-top. What the hell did she tink doing this?! Presenting her boobs to everybody on the beach?! I head over to her sun lounger. I look at her. „Get up, Ana! Now!", I shout. She opens her eyes and looks at me. „What the hell were you thinking?!" „I was on my front. I must have turned over in my sleep." , she whispers. What kind of excuse ist hat?! I look around and see her bikini-top on my sun-lounger. I toss it at her. „Putt his on!", I hiss. How can she be that stupid?! I know that she never does as told, but that she could bet hat stupid?! „Christian, no one is looking" Nobody is looking?! I try not to burst out in ironical laugh. How could they not be looking at a hot woman with boobs like hers lying there half-naked?! „Trust me. They're looking. I'm sure Taylor and the security crew are enjoying the show", Great now even the Staff nows how my wife looks half naked. Her body is supposed to be mine. And this view of her half naked is only for me. Okay the Staff are not the biggest problem. Those fucking paparazzis could be everywhere. Oh I can see the next headline - shows us everything - with some half naked pictures of my wife, so the everybody in US could see it. „And some sleazy fucking paparazzi could get a shot of you, too. Do you want to be over the cover of star Magazine? Naked this time?" I wonder if she even thought about that. I remember hwo uncomfortable she was with paparazzis stalked her after our engagement was leaked, but now she's posing fort hem halfnaked?! Finally she puts on her bikini-top. Anyways we shouldn't fight in public. We could do that at home. „We are going", I tell her. „Now?" what kind fo question ist his?! „Yes. Now" and she doesn't argue with me further. Good girl. I put on my clothes, though my trunks are still wet, but i don't care right now. I pass my blackberry and book over to her, so she can putt hem into her bag. „Please don't be mad at me", she whispers. And again I nearly bursted out in an ironical laugh. Does she think she can just do any shit she wants to and then look at me with her innocent and sweet look and it will all be butterflies and rainbows again?! Well there she's wrong then. „Too late fort that".


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